‘Drippy’ Elvis blamed in child’s eye infection

Infected

If you tolerate this, your children will be next.

St. Louis, MO -- A casual partaking of Gay Pride festivities has turned sour for a family after its youngest member contracted gonococcal conjunctivitis, presumably from one of the Parade participants.

Reginald Dampwood, 46, said his youngest son Dart, 2, started showing symptoms of the eye infection after they got home from watching the parade on Sunday. "There's no other place he could have contracted the infection. It's got to be at the Parade," Dampwood said.

The father of five believes his son got the infection from a naked Elvis Presley impersonator who stopped in front of them to take photographs with other parade watchers.

"His penis was particularly drippy, so I made sure none of my kids went near him, just to be safe," said Dampwood. "But it was pretty windy that day, and it's possible the wind blew some of that discharge into my kid's eyes. Who knows?"

Dampwood said he takes his family to see the parade every year, but now has second thoughts about it. "I like to expose my family to diversity as much as I can, but their health always comes first," he added.

The family has no plans to file charges.

"We're good. Dart has gotten some antibiotics and the infection should be clearing up in no time," Dampwood said. "I just hope that drippy Elvis gets checked out real' soon or there might be other cases like Dart's out there."

Post to Twitter Post to Plurk Post to Yahoo Buzz Post to Delicious Post to Digg Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Ping.fm Post to Reddit Post to StumbleUpon

How does this post make you feel?
  • Excited
  • Fascinated
  • Amused
  • Bored
  • Sad
  • Angry

3 Responses to “‘Drippy’ Elvis blamed in child’s eye infection”

  1. bob prostate says:

    Well, I watched on ZipperTV and now my Lnut and Reye are swollen. I just think there’s more than meets the eye here. I’ll bet it’s that super subliminal urinal thing going around in Bowllywood circles. I am flush with that! I know you’ve seen it too. The little man in the boat scrubbing under the lip. He sits funny (to the right) which tells he he has a swollen Lnut too! And the Reye never seems to focus on the camera. I tell ya, these gay guys are blowin’ their cover. Or whatever!

  2. I’ve got a case of something. I’m willing to share it. If any of you would like to have it, just let me know and I’ll transmit it to you. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

  3. cubrikaska says:

    Bravos, usted no se han equivocado:)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Air Flight-Generic Advertise Here

Be a honey. Give us some money.

If you enjoy bent*spud, or just feel like showing off how ridiculously affluent you are, then please feel free to throw some change our way. It will go towards a fund for grooming disheveled elk in North America. Any leftover monies will go towards the continued betterment of bent*spud.
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