Miller: Longing for a love that dared not

Sioux Falls, SOUTH DAKOTA -- As Stanley Miller celebrates his 94th birthday surrounded by family and friends, there is only one thing that he wishes for more than continued good health in his advanced years.

"I really would like to see Edgar Thompson again," says the sprightly father, grandfather and great-grandfather. "And maybe kiss him on the lips and put my hand in his pants."

Thompson was Miller's childhood friend, several years his senior, for whom he had lusted in silence over many years. The two grew up together in Sioux Falls during a time when homosexuality was considered by many to be an abomination and a sin. Miller said he was ashamed of what he felt, and distracted himself with school, haberdashery and philately.

When Thompson's family moved to California in 1929, Miller had just turned 13. It was a time that Miller recalls with much agony and pain.

"I really wanted to tell him how I felt, but my fears took over me," says Miller. "I hadn't heard from or seen him since then."

Heartbroken, Miller buried himself in stamps and buttons, and became addicted to candy apples and fried bananas. When he turned 18, he moved out of his parents' house and started his own haberdashery business where he ended up meeting his wife Edna. The two got married in 1938 and soon welcomed a son they named Edgar Thomas. The couple had four more children. Edna died while giving birth to their youngest, Dolores, in 1944. Miller has not remarried since, and instead threw himself into raising his children while keeping his business afloat.

"My children and the business were really just an excuse. I really didn't want anyone else. I wanted Edgar Thompson," he says.

Over the years, Miller had tried unsuccessfully to locate his childhood hero and crush. With each passing year, the chances of their reunion grow dimmer, but Miller remains hopeful.

"I know he's still out there somewhere. I can feel him in my heartbeat, and for as long as there is a breath in my body, I will look for him," says the spunky nonagenarian. "I still believe that one sweet day Edgar Thompson and I will meet again, and we can both sit down and be gay together, maybe listen to Liberace and watch Cary Grant movies."

Edgar Miller says he fully supports his father, and no matter what happens, he and the rest of the family will stand by him.

"He's given up so much and got so little in return," says the younger Miller. "He's in the twilight of his years. He deserves to be happy."