05 Jul 2009

‘Drippy’ Elvis blamed in child’s eye infection

St. Louis, MO — A casual partaking of Gay Pride festivities has turned sour for a family after its youngest member contracted gonococcal conjunctivitis, presumably from one of the Parade participants.

Atiq Roshan 3 Read More
24 May 2009

Conservative groups rabid over dog weddings

Toronto, ON — A debate Canadians thought was over has risen again, as Toronto hosts the “Largest Festival for Dogs in North America”. What organizers had hoped would be a cheeky opening event – Woofstock Weddings – has instead unleashed controversy about the meaning of marriage.

Marcia Mallow 0 Read More
12 May 2009

Overweight protesters shut down Toronto airport

Toronto, ON — Thousands of air travellers became inconvenienced today after a radical group of overweight Canadians commandeered all five runways at Toronto’s major international airport to protest the vilification of trans fats in Canada.

Atiq Roshan 0 Read More
06 May 2009

Gold diggers feeling pinch of economic crisis

Manhattan, NY — It’s Wednesday morning. Typically, Louise Fenbro would still be in bed sleeping off last night’s hangover. She would get up just in time for brunch at Posh, and then engage in another afternoon shopping spree in SoHo. Instead, she is posting an ad on Craigslist for her Dolce & Gabbana purse which she is selling so that she can make this month’s rent.

Eros Giancarlo Gucci 1 Read More
02 May 2009

Woman allergic to Asians in coma after Chinatown stranding

Toronto, ON — A female tourist who is severely allergic to Asian people is in a coma after her car broke down at a very busy intersection in the city’s bustling Chinatown district.

Nicola Cornthwaite 0 Read More