14 Feb 2019

U.S. Senator Susan Collins to introduce ‘wire hanger’ bill to quell Roe v. Wade reversal fears

Stinging from renewed criticism for helping put beer lover and firm “boys will be boys” believer Brett Kavanaugh on the U.S. Supreme Court, U.S. Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) announced she will soon introduce a bill that would legalize the use of wire hangers to abort unwanted or life-threatening fetuses at home.

Marcia Mallow 0 Read More
23 Jan 2019

Trump to deliver State of the Union address from golden toilet via Twitter

Washington, D.C. — Demolishing yet again another White House norm, autocrat adorer and hamburger enthusiast Dotard Trump is said to be planning on delivering this year’s State Of The Union address via a Twitter live feed from his golden toilet.

Marcia Mallow 0 Read More
04 Sep 2018

Brett Kavanaugh: ‘I thought Guttenberg was my gay stalker from college’

Conservative U.S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh has broken his silence on why he turned his back on the father of a dead teen shooting victim during a break at his confirmation hearing Tuesday.

In a press conference shortly after the hearing had adjourned for the day, Kavanaugh told reporters he thought Fred Guttenberg, the father of Parkland teen Jamie Guttenberg, was a former gay acquaintance from college with whom he had a destructive and traumatic history.

Marcia Mallow 0 Read More
24 Mar 2018

NRA, gun lobbyists preparing ‘Gala For Our Guns’ to counter #NeverAgain pro-gun control movement

Fairfax, Virginia — The National Rifle Association and gun lobbyists across the United States are preparing a massive gala event in an effort to counter the momentum of the swelling anti-gun movement in the country.

Atiq Roshan 0 Read More
03 Mar 2018

Melania Trump reveals she has I.Q. of over 200, deserved ‘Einstein visa’

Washington, D.C. — Slovenia’s No. 1 export to the U.S. Melania Trump has hit back at sustained questioning of her pathway to U.S. citizenship, saying that she is “smart and totally deserved” the Green Card she obtained through the EB-1 programs, or the “Einstein visa.”

Marcia Mallow 0 Read More