20 Nov 2016

Trump appoints golf club office cleaner as Health Secretary

Bedminster, New Jersey — In a move further indicative of how he intends to lead and govern the United States, president-elect Donald Trump has appointed an office cleaner at his New Jersey golf club to lead his incoming administration’s Department of Health & Human Services.

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16 Oct 2016

Trump on another hot mic: ‘There is no Santa Claus, these kids are idiots’

Donald Trump’s sputtering presidential campaign took another severe blow following the release Sunday of a new hot mic recording on which the New York billionaire is heard saying “there is no Santa Claus” and that children who believe he exists are idiots.

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29 Mar 2016

Susan Sarandon’s vagina: ‘I am with Hillary’

Los Angeles, CA — In a startling turn of events, Susan Sarandon’s vagina has gone on record and declared she is throwing her full support behind Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton.

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02 Jan 2016

Carly Fiorina surges to 97% support in Iowa polls following Hawkeyes pandering

Iowa may have lost the 102nd Rose Bowl to Stanford Cardinal, 45-16, but avid Hawkeyes fan Carly Fiorina has plenty to cheer about.

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22 Oct 2015

Hillary Clinton displays impressive composure at 11-hour, climax-free Republican circle jerk

Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton displayed impressive calm and composure today at a marathon congressional hearing investigating the Benghazi attacks, which could only be best described up as an 11-hour GOP circle jerk in which no Republican climaxed.

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