Donald Trump’s sputtering presidential campaign took another severe blow following the release Sunday of a new hot mic recording on which the New York billionaire is heard saying “there is no Santa Claus” and that children who believe he exists are idiots.
Los Angeles, CA — In a startling turn of events, Susan Sarandon’s vagina has gone on record and declared she is throwing her full support behind Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton.
Iowa may have lost the 102nd Rose Bowl to Stanford Cardinal, 45-16, but avid Hawkeyes fan Carly Fiorina has plenty to cheer about.
Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton displayed impressive calm and composure today at a marathon congressional hearing investigating the Benghazi attacks, which could only be best described up as an 11-hour GOP circle jerk in which no Republican climaxed.
Washington, D.C. — A day after admitting he would only consider running for Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives if House Republicans united behind his candidacy, Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan today also demanded as absolute prerequisites the reunion of 90s alternative British band Oasis and a gavel made of ivory taken from an elephant born in his birth year, 1970.