Kansas City, MO — Singer Lady Gaga has defecated, CNN’s Entertainment bureau reports.

Los Angeles, CA — The first ever all-tranny Hooters restaurant was launched in high style Wednesday with the appearance of special guest Lady Gaga, who came dressed as an expired Rice Krispie snack.

London, England — Whether or not it was a premeditated publicity stunt, the tale of the runaway helium balloon in Colorado seems to have worked out in favor of the besieged family at the center of it all.

The timeless Queen of Pop once again invites us all to the dance floor and join the party with this irresistible Paul Oakenfold-produced dance anthem that tips a hat to her past whilst looking forward to the future.

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Manhattan, NY — It’s Wednesday morning. Typically, Louise Fenbro would still be in bed sleeping off last night’s hangover. She would get up just in time for brunch at Posh, and then engage in another afternoon shopping spree in SoHo. Instead, she is posting an ad on Craigslist for her Dolce & Gabbana purse which she is selling so that she can make this month’s rent.