Norwalk, CT — Pop singer Lady Gaga has signed a multi-year deal with the Xerox Company as its new Director of Brand Recognition.

Chairman and CEO Ursula Burns made the exciting announcement today at a press conference flanked by dozens of female impersonators dressed up as the "Poker Face" and "Paparazzi" singer in her various many guises.

"Lady Gaga's bottomless talent provides the perfect synergy to what the Xerox Company has been traditionally known for through the years. She gracefully embodies the Xerox Company's primary strength," said Burns, who wouldn't confirm whether or not the singer was in attendance when a reporter asked.

Gesturing toward the drag queens surrounding her onstage during her speech, Burns smiled and simply said "With all these perfect copies of Lady Gaga, it's hard to tell, isn't it?"

Xerox's partnership with the pop singer is the latest effort to revitalize the iconic corporation famous for introducing xerographic office photocopying in 1959. In 2008, the company rebranded itself with a new wordmark and logo.

Lady Gaga will begin promotional appearances for the company immediately, with a print, TV, radio and Internet ad campaign blitz coming in the Fall.

Lady Gaga: Validate me

The final numbers aren't in yet, but Lady Gaga has already officially declared her "Born This Way" CD as "the ultimate smash hit album of all time" since its release on May 23rd.

In a telephone interview with Los Angeles radio station WKRZ 99.1, the "Poker Face" singer proudly gushed over the album's success, estimating its first week worldwide sales at 200 million copies.

"Like, I know the number is a little steep and all, but hear me out... The average regular price of a CD these days is $15, right? If you totaled the sales of all the copies sold at that price, divided it by 99 cents, and then added the resulting number to the total number of units I gave away at 99 cents, you would totally arrive at 200 million. You savvy?" Gaga explained to WKRZ DJ Darcy Moran.

"Um, I guess," a bewildered Moran replied.

The New York-based singer was referring to the outrageously discounted pricing of "Born This Way" at Amazon.com last week, which inflated the album's total sales in the United States by a great margin.

"So, like, this proves I'm totally the greatest artist in like, ever. That people will pay 99 cents for my album. Like, I should be in the Guinness Book or something. Go on, like, just say it to me already. Affirm me, validate me, come on..." the singer quipped before laughing and then bursting into a coughing spell that lasted for thirty seconds.

In the interview that lasted for ten minutes, Lady Gaga also talked about how she's already planning to top her achievement with her next album.

"I'm going to do a duets album with David Hasselhoff and Wayne Newton and sell it for 10 cents," she told Moran.

At the end of their conversation, the singer reminded all her fans who were listening that the album will be on sale again for 99 cents at Amazon.com this week, "so, like, get another copy or 92. Help me, my monsters. Validate me."

Lady Gaga: Top tranny

It takes money - and lots of mascara and duct tape - to land a prime spot on Forbes' Tranny 100 list. But one hundred trannies who managed to make it onto the list can call themselves winners.

Lady Gaga took the top spot on the Forbes Tranny 100 list for the first time. Last year, the "Poker Face" singer came in at No. 2 behind the Queen of England, Queen Elizabeth II, who this year slipped to the runner-up spot. Forbes reports that Lady Gaga earned $62 million over the past 12 months, while Queen Elizabeth II took in roughly $80 million.

In determining their tranny list, Forbes said they took more than earnings into account. They also looked at fame, measured by the number of times a tranny is mentioned in print, TV, radio and the social media.

Forbes Magazine spokesperson Ginny Flowers said "Lady Gaga undeniably has fame in spades."

Third on the list is evergreen drag queen RuPaul, who earned $10 million in the past 12 months on the strength of the hit Logo reality show "RuPaul's Drag Race". Holding onto fourth place for a second straight year is cabaret performer Alexis Arquette, who earned $8 million, and at No. 5 is David LaChapelle muse Amanda Lepore, who banked $6.9 million.

Rounding out the top 10 are porn star Buck Angel with $4 million, activist Chaz Bono ($3.5 million), Bulgarian performer Azis ($3 million), American Idol 2009 Runner-Up Adam Lambert ($2.4 million) and Dutch TV personality Kelly van der Veer ($1.2 million).

Lady Gaga: Can't read her pooper face.

Kansas City, MO -- Singer Lady Gaga has defecated, CNN's Entertainment bureau reports.

The singer reportedly ran straight to the lavatory after she arrived in the City of Fountains ahead of the August 3rd stop of her Monster Ball Tour at the Sprint Center.

"She hasn't had a decent poop in over three days," said Lady Gaga's tour manager Troy Carter. "This is really good news for us, and for the show tomorrow night."

Carter said Lady Gaga believes her creativity lies in her lower intestinal tract, and that she feels the need to cling onto her feces for as long as she can.

"At first we thought she was just pulling our legs when she told us," said Carter. "But it's true. Her fecal matter is her focal point. Every inch of her creativity emanates from her feces. Constipation is her motivation."

The singer's Monster Ball Tour finishes its 2010 North American leg this September in Raleigh, North Carolina, after which she takes the show to Europe once again. She graces the cover of Vanity Fair's September 2010 issue.

Lady Gaga: proud to eat at Hooters

Los Angeles, CA -- The first ever all-tranny Hooters restaurant was launched in high style Wednesday with the appearance of special guest Lady Gaga, who came dressed as an expired Rice Krispie snack.

The "Poker Face" singer said she was thrilled to be at the exclusive launch party attended by members of West Hollywood's elite drag community and their friends. "This is a long time coming. Now, for the first time in my adult life, I am proud to step into a Hooters restaurant," she gushed.

Hooters President & CEO Coby G. Brooks said plans for a franchise that exclusively employs transvestites and transsexuals as its waiting staff have been on the drawing table as early as 1999, but "the Bush-Cheney years got in the way."

"Now, with the mainstream popularity of individuals like Lady Gaga and shows like RuPaul's Drag Race, this is definitely an idea whose time has come," said Brooks, who gave Lady Gaga an unprecedented, non-expiring "all you can eat" pass to the newly-opened restaurant.

As with regular Hooters restaurants, the waitresses at the "all-tranny" franchise will be wearing the distinctive uniform of a white tank top with the "Hootie the Owl" logo and the location name on the front paired with the famously short orange runner's shorts.

Brooks encourages patrons to be as frisky as they want with the tranny waitresses, as long as they don't reach into their shorts. "Our trannies work hard and are focused on their jobs. The last thing they want is for their tucks to come undone on a busy night while serving chicken wings and beer," he said.

First-time patron Roland Majors, 34, said he didn't know what to expect at first, but was genuinely surprised by the experience he'd had getting served by 23-year-old tranny Shanice LeGreece.

"Until tonight, I'd never seen a tranny up close before. They're such fun creatures!" Majors said. "I'm definitely coming back."