24 Apr 2018

Just don’t wig out in the middle of one!

56% of C.I.A. operatives regularly use synthetic wigs for covert operations.

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16 Apr 2018

Oopsy poopsy!

Sean Hannity released approximately 0.62 grams of fecal matter into the underwear he was wearing after a New York court revelation regarding his legal representation by Michael Cohen.

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03 Mar 2018

Melania Trump reveals she has I.Q. of over 200, deserved ‘Einstein visa’

Washington, D.C. — Slovenia’s No. 1 export to the U.S. Melania Trump has hit back at sustained questioning of her pathway to U.S. citizenship, saying that she is “smart and totally deserved” the Green Card she obtained through the EB-1 programs, or the “Einstein visa.”

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13 Jan 2018

U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan lost testicles in P90X mishap, says source

An unfortunate exercising accident has left U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan literally without testicles, a source close to the politician has revealed.

The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the Wisconsin congressman was in the middle of a plyometrics routine on his P90X regimen when the incident occurred in early 2016.

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14 Jun 2017

Jeff Sessions sets Guinness record for number of times ‘I don’t recall’ uttered at U.S. Senate hearing

United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions has made it to the Guinness World Records after uttering “I don’t recall” or variations thereof a total of 32 times – the most by a witness under oath – during his testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday.

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