Washington, DC — U.S. Congressman Barney Frank has sponsored legislation making it mandatory for Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine to be shirtless at all times.

Queens, NY — The Association of Narcissistic Americans (ANAm) today threw their support behind embattled New York Congressman Anthony Weiner and encouraged him to “hang in there, keep your head up high, and stay strong.”

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A coalition of grassroots religious groups and family-oriented organizations in the United States has started a lobbying campaign on Capitol Hill to put a stop to the showbiz careers being forged by the children of actor Will Smith.

Toronto, ON — Hundreds of Canadians bored with their dreary lives got a massive shot of adrenaline and excitement by deliberately getting themselves tangled in rallies aimed at destabilizing the G-20 Summit on Financial Markets and the World Economy held at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre over the weekend.