Toronto, ON — Hundreds of Canadians bored with their dreary lives got a massive shot of adrenaline and excitement by deliberately getting themselves tangled in rallies aimed at destabilizing the G-20 Summit on Financial Markets and the World Economy held at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre over the weekend.

Columbia, SC — Former Alaska governor and 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin believes that annexing Mexico as an official self-governing, unincorporated territory of the United States will solve the country’s perennial illegal immigration problem.

Minneapolis – Saint Paul, MN — The health care debate in the United States has taken an unusual twist today after Minnesota congresswoman Michelle Bachmann announced she would support President Barack Obama’s reform initiative if liberal talk show host Rachel Maddow wears a frilly blouse.

New York, NY — Even though he is actually not a woman and has not won any state-level beauty pageants, U.S. President Barack Obama has been unanimously declared as the winner of the 2010 Miss USA beauty pageant.

Winnipeg, MB — Less than a week after the Conservative Canadian government insensitively shipped them body bags to prepare for the oncoming swine flu pandemic, aboriginal communities in Manitoba found themselves at a loss for words yet again after receiving a crate of silicone butt plugs.