13 Jan 2018

U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan lost testicles in P90X mishap, says source

An unfortunate exercising accident has left U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan literally without testicles, a source close to the politician has revealed.

The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the Wisconsin congressman was in the middle of a plyometrics routine on his P90X regimen when the incident occurred in early 2016.

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14 Jun 2017

Jeff Sessions sets Guinness record for number of times ‘I don’t recall’ uttered at U.S. Senate hearing

United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions has made it to the Guinness World Records after uttering “I don’t recall” or variations thereof a total of 32 times – the most by a witness under oath – during his testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday.

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20 Jan 2017

Photo: Donald Trump’s inauguration flops

Side-by-side comparison of attendance at Barack Obama’s and Donald Trump’s inaugurations in 2009 and 2017, respectively. Left is Obama’s, right is Trump’s. Trump will probably claim the photos were manipulated. The system is RIGGED! LOL

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18 Jan 2017

Prostitutes protest Donald Trump by refusing ‘pee-pee parties’

Washington, D.C. — If you’re in America looking for a prostitute to urinate on (or be urinated on by) for sexual pleasure, you’re out of luck.

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20 Dec 2016

Melania Trump as First Lady to champion struggling Eastern European models looking for their own Donald Trump

Manhattan, New York — First Lady-in-waiting Melania Trump has promised to be the champion and the voice of struggling, hard up Eastern European models chasing the American dream and looking for their own Donald Trump when her husband takes office as the 45th President of the United States of America.

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