Manhattan, NY — “Crack A Bottle,” the new single by Eminem, Dr. Dre and 50 Cent this week soared to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 Chart and set a new Nielsen SoundScan record for opening week download sales (418,000), but the nation at large is blithely unconcerned.

This Macy Gray cover by James Taylor and Carly Simon’s son is just so darn sweet that you can’t help but feel mushy and want to cuddle with your thrillingly titillating thesis-writing boy. Or girl.

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Don’t be deceived by the salacious title. It’s not about what you think it is.

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R&B singer and occasional actress Beyoncé Knowles has blasted the National Organization of Left-Handed People (NOLHaP) for illegally using her song “Irreplaceable” at their annual convention and demanded the group to cease and desist immediately.

Reuters (NEW YORK, NY) — The Queen of Pop has just put the finishing touches on her next studio album entitled “Tick Tock Fuzzy Bubble”, to be released in the spring of 2010.