Sydney, NSW, Australia — A woman pretending to be a representative for a fictitious institution concerned with the preservation of the human race has been arrested following a failed attempt to solicit Justin Bieber for a semen donation.

Schwechat, Austria — Icelandic singer Bjork may be facing assault charges after throwing a lava lamp at a stranded air traveller who berated her over the recent volcanic eruption that has disrupted air travel all across Europe.

Buoyed by its lingering popularity in Transylvania and some other parts of Europe, Lady Gaga’s debut album, “The Fame”, is to be re-released worldwide again this summer, Interscope Records’ Martin Kierszenbaum has confirmed.

Washington, DC — The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has called for renewed vigilance and more stringent measures to battle music piracy after reports surfaced that residents of a trailer park in Lauderdale County, Mississippi have figured out how to download music illegally.

Los Angeles, California (CNN) — Actress Mackenzie Phillips says her famous musician father damaged her in many other ways besides their scandalous sexual relationship.