Chen: Went home Pikachu-less

Balls Mills, PA -- The owners of a traveling amusement show in Central Pennsylvania are facing heat over a decision to ban Asians from participating in the carnival's popular age guessing game.

Avid funfair goer Binlu Chen, who is 54 but looks about 17, found out about the Budwick & Chase Amusement Fair's unsavory new policy over the weekend when he went to the "Guess My Age" booth and was roundly denied by the operator, who told him that Asians are not allowed in the age guessing game anymore "because you're all so deceptively youthful."

When Chen went to the on-duty carnival manager to lodge a complaint, he was told the same thing.

"I was really disappointed and upset. The age guessing game is my all-time favorite because I always win it. It's the only reason I go to fairs," said Chen, who went home that day without his usual haul of oversized Pikachu plush dolls.

Carnival co-owner Lance Budwick, 44, denied the decision was racially-motivated and emphasized that it was purely due to the bad economy. "At the end of the day, it boils down to economics. We need to make sure that we are still a profitable enterprise," Budwick said. "We are bad at guessing the age of Asians, so we've decided not to do it anymore."

The Righteous League of Asian-Americans Demanding Equality Now (RLAADEN) disagrees. RLAADEN President Thompson Wang, 39, said they are strongly considering a racial discrimination lawsuit against the owners of Budwick & Chase Amusement Fair.

"Racial discrimination has no place anywhere in this day and age," said Wang. "The decision by this group to ban Asians from their carnival game is highly immoral and unconscionable, and must be righted at all costs."

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Cooper: Mistaken for a surfer dude

Oceanside, CA -- Wearing Abercrombie & Fitch clothing has magically transformed a 59-year-old man into a thirtysomething "surfer dude."

Milton Cooper, who is vacationing from Clinton, Ohio, said he was confused at first when a young buff man carrying a surfing board came up to him and told him to "go get your gun, dude, and meet the crew at Coconut Point."

"I thought there was a robbery in progress on the beach or something," said Cooper. "And then someone explained to me that gun is surf slang for surfing board, that there is a surfing showdown just up the beach from where we were, and that I was mistaken for one of the surfers competing."

Cooper said he was thrilled and flattered by the incident and immediately credited the brand new Abercrombie & Fitch clothes he was wearing.

"It's got to be the Abercrombie clothes I bought this morning and am wearing now," said Cooper. "I know for sure it's not the Special K diet I started yesterday."

The insurance broker said he is considering updating his wardrobe exclusively with Abercrombie & Fitch, but doesn't want to make a hasty decision.

"I'll walk around some more in these threads and see how it goes," said Cooper. "If I get mistaken for a life guard, then I'm definitely doing it."

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Man: Butt of jokes for years

Portland, OR -- Harry Butts could have been $10,000 richer. If only he hadn't had his name legally changed.

The 47-year-old steam roller operator, now known as John Crowe, tried unsuccessfully to claim the windfall prize in Portland's KUIK AM 1360's "Cash For Monikers" monthly contest which picked his old name as the winning name for April. The contest is only open to residents of the Greater Portland area.

"I was the butt of jokes for years because of my old name. Then I go change it and it wins ten grand. It's not fair," said Crowe, who was denied the prize by contest organizers after he failed to present legitimate identification. Crowe acquired his new name in January.

KUIK AM 1360 public relations manager Connie Darwell said Crowe provided an expired driver's license bearing his old name, which is against the rules.

"If it was a box of muffins we're giving away, then we might have let it slide. But we're talking about $10,000 here. Authentic, current documentation is crucial," said Darwell. As consolation, the radio station gave Crowe a t-shirt and a keychain.

The $10,000 "Cash For Monikers" prize was subsequently awarded to a woman named Chantilly Hardwood.

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Hastrup: Don't believe Avatar hype, live your life.

Copenhagen, Denmark -- People who have seen James Cameron's $2 billion-grossing 3D extravaganza "Avatar" are no better off than those who have not, a new study has found.

Conducted by the University of Copenhagen's Department of Anthropology, the research study involved one thousand participants evenly divided into two groups: one that has seen the Oscar-nominated movie and one that hasn't. Researchers spent many hours interviewing participants to get a general sense of their lives, hopes and dreams, financial situations, and personal outlooks.

"Basically, what we've discovered is that you're not missing out on anything if you have never seen even so much as a frame of 'Avatar'," said Dr. Donna Hastrup, the study's lead researcher. "Your life would still be meaningful and productive, regardless of what (director) James Cameron would like you to believe."

The study's findings, which will be published in the forthcoming Summer Edition of the Danish Journal Of Humanities, were unveiled a week after the movie's release on DVD/Blu-ray. 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment has reported that first-day sales of the DVD and Blu-ray combined for a whopping 4 million units sold. Cameron has confirmed a theater re-release in the summer with an additional six minutes of footage, as well as plans for a sequel.

Hastrup said the study was conducted in response to a "pervading feeling that Avatar is this enormously transformative experience."

"Throughout the latter part of 2009 and early 2010, all everyone ever talked about was how awesome 'Avatar' is, and how it somehow makes you feel like James Cameron is your best friend," said Hastrup. "We're not Debbie Downers; we just wanted to inject some sense of reality."

People who have seen the movie might actually be at a disadvantage, according to Hastrup. It has been widely reported that people have died from seizures after watching 'Avatar.' Presently, it is unknown whether or not it will have any lingering long-term side effects on those who have seen it in all its headache-inducing 3D glory.

"All we're trying to say is that if you haven't seen Avatar, don't feel bad. You are not a lesser human being," said Hastrup. "Go and live! There are better things you could do with three and a half hours."

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Miller: Longing for a love that dared not

Sioux Falls, SOUTH DAKOTA -- As Stanley Miller celebrates his 94th birthday surrounded by family and friends, there is only one thing that he wishes for more than continued good health in his advanced years.

"I really would like to see Edgar Thompson again," says the sprightly father, grandfather and great-grandfather. "And maybe kiss him on the lips and put my hand in his pants."

Thompson was Miller's childhood friend, several years his senior, for whom he had lusted in silence over many years. The two grew up together in Sioux Falls during a time when homosexuality was considered by many to be an abomination and a sin. Miller said he was ashamed of what he felt, and distracted himself with school, haberdashery and philately.

When Thompson's family moved to California in 1929, Miller had just turned 13. It was a time that Miller recalls with much agony and pain.

"I really wanted to tell him how I felt, but my fears took over me," says Miller. "I hadn't heard from or seen him since then."

Heartbroken, Miller buried himself in stamps and buttons, and became addicted to candy apples and fried bananas. When he turned 18, he moved out of his parents' house and started his own haberdashery business where he ended up meeting his wife Edna. The two got married in 1938 and soon welcomed a son they named Edgar Thomas. The couple had four more children. Edna died while giving birth to their youngest, Dolores, in 1944. Miller has not remarried since, and instead threw himself into raising his children while keeping his business afloat.

"My children and the business were really just an excuse. I really didn't want anyone else. I wanted Edgar Thompson," he says.

Over the years, Miller had tried unsuccessfully to locate his childhood hero and crush. With each passing year, the chances of their reunion grow dimmer, but Miller remains hopeful.

"I know he's still out there somewhere. I can feel him in my heartbeat, and for as long as there is a breath in my body, I will look for him," says the spunky nonagenarian. "I still believe that one sweet day Edgar Thompson and I will meet again, and we can both sit down and be gay together, maybe listen to Liberace and watch Cary Grant movies."

Edgar Miller says he fully supports his father, and no matter what happens, he and the rest of the family will stand by him.

"He's given up so much and got so little in return," says the younger Miller. "He's in the twilight of his years. He deserves to be happy."

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