Never forget "Loverboy"

New York — Thousands gathered Sunday morning at former Tower Records stores around the United States to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the tragic release of Mariah Carey's catastrophic "Glitter" album.

In New York, dozens stood still in silence, some crying as they listened to "Loverboy,""Never Too Far," and "Don't Stop (Funkin' 4 Jamaica)" played out on the loudspeakers.

"They were a truly horrible, horrible collection of songs," said former Sony Music Entertainment head Tommy Mottola, who, along with his wife Thalia and current American Idol judge Jennifer Lopez, helped lead the commemoration on the 10th anniversary of the CD's release.

The solemn ceremony at the site of the last Tower Records store to close in New York City came with almost no security presence permeating the area one block north of the Lincoln Center on Manhattan's West Side.

At the ceremony, Mottola and his wife stood behind bullet-proof protection. Lopez, who had a hit album at the time, sang her No. 1 single "I'm Real," which contained a sample of Yellow Magic Orchestra's "Firecracker" that Carey originally wanted to use for Glitter's first single, "Loverboy."

"I think the sample was a more natural fit for my song," Lopez said after her performance. "I'm glad I got to it first before Mariah did."

At the former Landmark Plaza Tower Records Store in Alexandria, Virginia, people put up a makeshift shrine to good music with a banner that read "Never Forget" spelled out with shredded copies of the CD.

In Washington, D.C., music fans were a little more positive as they chanted "It gets better" and listened to "We Belong Together," the smash hit from Carey's 2005 comeback album, "The Emancipation Of Mimi."

Former Tower Records President Michael Solomon said the choice of former Tower Records stores as a place to congregate and remember "that fateful day in 2001" was appropriately symbolic.

"The music industry in general suffered a terrible blow that day," said Solomon. "And I believe it's directly related to the demise of Tower Records."

"Glitter" debuted and peaked at No. 7 on the Billboard Hot 200 Albums chart in the U.S. on September 11, 2001. It also performed underwhelmingly in other countries, except Japan, where it reached No. 1. It received generally bad reviews from music critics. The album's dismal performance and the critical drubbing of the film of the same title for which it was recorded are widely believed to have caused Carey to go into downward spiral and have a nervous breakdown.

Ezra Klein: fetishized for his foreskin?

Jewish men who are not circumcised are far more desirable and 97% more likely to "get lucky" than those who are, an online dating site survey has found.

The poll, launched in April by NoPressureOverKreplach.com, a dating service geared towards Jewish singles and those who love them, attracted over 8,000 respondents and touched upon a diverse variety of topics, including the sensitive issue of Jewish men dating shiksas, and Jewish females showing up at Rosh Hashanah dinners wearing nonkosher underpants.

The topic that ignited the most interest and discussion, however, was the one about uncircumcised Jewish men and their attractiveness and sex appeal. The survey has found that on questions such as "On whom would you be more likely to perform oral sex?" and "To whom would you rather lose your virginity?", female (as well as a significant number of male) respondents overwhelmingly favored uncut Jewish males.

Site owner Ephrem Mogberg said this clearly demonstrates "an ongoing paradigm shift in the Jewish community's perception of the value and relevance of circumcision in this modern day and age," while at the same time not dismissing the possibility that this could simply be a passing phase in which uncut Jewish men are fetishized for their extra skin.

"Listen, it's perfectly possible that folks just like uncut Jews because of their rarity, but, fetish or not, I'll be the first to say that I cannot wait for the day when Jewish parents won't feel compelled to follow tradition and chop off their newborn son's foreskin," said Mogberg. "We don't have to do that anymore, and this survey clearly shows why."

"Bummed out" tween looks at her toes

Surrey, BC -- A devout Lady Gaga fan is left disenchanted and feeling "duped" after learning about the existence of evergreen pop queens Madonna, Kylie Minogue and Grace Jones.

Bella Crusher, 12, made the discovery after she went through her mother's record collection to look for her Lady Gaga CD.

"I thought she had my copy of 'The Fame Monster.' She didn't have it," said Crusher. "But I found all this other stuff that was, like, so amazing."

After listening to and being blown away by Madonna's "Like A Prayer," Minogue's "Light Years" and Jones's "Inside Story," the tween took to the Internet to learn more about "these awesome ladies."

Crusher said she could not believe that all "these other women had already done the things that Lady Gaga is doing today." The tween also subsequently found out that one of the Jackass guys had already pulled off the meat-as-clothing stunt in one of their earlier episodes.

"I really thought she was original, but she just copies other people's stuff and passes it off to her fans like she's the one who came up with it," Crusher said.

The tween added that although she is "bummed out" that her pop idol turned out to be a larcenous hack, she'll get over it soon enough.

"It's okay, really. I understand. She was probably born that way," she said.

The "Poker Face" singer's new single and album, both called "Born This Way," are being released this Spring.

Jones: "Foolish to be squeamish."

Missoula, MT -- Heterosexual men who are regularly fellated by homosexual men have a lower risk of developing prostate and testicular cancer, a research study has found.

The "Study On The General Health Benefits Of One-Way Gay Fellatio" was spearheaded by University of Montana Sexual & Liberal Studies research fellow Dr. Wendel Jones, and will be published in the upcoming Spring issue of the Men's Journal Of Health & Gender. It was initially met with jeers and snickering when first proposed in 2005, but Jones persevered to get funding, and was finally able to get it off the ground a year later.

Conducted over a period of four years, the research involved 600 men aged 23 to 54 who exclusively identify as heterosexual and enjoy penetrative vaginal sex with women. They were divided into two groups: one received oral sex on a daily basis from a team of experienced homosexual men, while the other did not. At the end of the study, all 600 were screened for prostate and testicular cancer. Eight tested positive for prostate cancer; six for testicular. All fourteen were from the group that did not get serviced orally by gay men.

Biologists who have examined the findings believe it may have something to do with "innate body resonance" (IBR), which refers to the human body's natural, ingrained inclination to react positively to external stimuli coming from another person of the same sex. In this case, the oral stimulation of a man's genitals by another man results in a positive metabolic effect that is magnified intrinsically by the body and improves its chances of resisting prostate and testicular cancer development.

"Gay men often like to say that no one knows how to please a man better than another man," said Dr. Gayle Darvill. "Well, it's not just a pick-up line. It's innate body resonance."

Darvill added "it's no surprise" that fewer gay men die of prostate or testicular cancer. "The gays have unknowingly stumbled on the secret to prostate and testicular health," said Darvill.

"The evidence is just overwhelming and impossible to ignore," added Jones, who identifies as heterosexual and also took part in the study. "If you're a straight guy, getting sucked off by another guy is not as bad as it looks, and does not deserve the social stigma it presently carries."

Jones said heterosexual men would be "foolish not to embrace" the experience of receiving oral sex from gay men for its proven health advantage, and warned that "now is not the time to be squeamish about one's prostate and testicular health."

"Gay men weren't just put on this earth for their fashion flair, impeccable taste and creativity," said Jones. "They're cancer-fighting angels that need to be encouraged, celebrated and, above all, appreciated."

The study did not look into how giving oral sex to heterosexual men affected the gay men who took part in the study, but it is generally believed that the experience left them with more than a mouthful of great memories.

Chen: Went home Pikachu-less

Balls Mills, PA -- The owners of a traveling amusement show in Central Pennsylvania are facing heat over a decision to ban Asians from participating in the carnival's popular age guessing game.

Avid funfair goer Binlu Chen, who is 54 but looks about 17, found out about the Budwick & Chase Amusement Fair's unsavory new policy over the weekend when he went to the "Guess My Age" booth and was roundly denied by the operator, who told him that Asians are not allowed in the age guessing game anymore "because you're all so deceptively youthful."

When Chen went to the on-duty carnival manager to lodge a complaint, he was told the same thing.

"I was really disappointed and upset. The age guessing game is my all-time favorite because I always win it. It's the only reason I go to fairs," said Chen, who went home that day without his usual haul of oversized Pikachu plush dolls.

Carnival co-owner Lance Budwick, 44, denied the decision was racially-motivated and emphasized that it was purely due to the bad economy. "At the end of the day, it boils down to economics. We need to make sure that we are still a profitable enterprise," Budwick said. "We are bad at guessing the age of Asians, so we've decided not to do it anymore."

The Righteous League of Asian-Americans Demanding Equality Now (RLAADEN) disagrees. RLAADEN President Thompson Wang, 39, said they are strongly considering a racial discrimination lawsuit against the owners of Budwick & Chase Amusement Fair.

"Racial discrimination has no place anywhere in this day and age," said Wang. "The decision by this group to ban Asians from their carnival game is highly immoral and unconscionable, and must be righted at all costs."