Los Angeles, CA — With over $57 million USD raised so far, the “Hope For Haiti Now” telethon is without a doubt a resounding triumph of charity and compassion, but to some, like donor Desiree “Baby” Bowes, the event left something to be desired.

Cockintake, Staffordshire, UK — A Staffordshire woman is in hospital after suffering a nervous breakdown brought on by people removing her from their follow lists on popular social networking site Twitter.

West Hollywood, CA — Much to the shock and dismay of his friends and the immediate gay community, West Hollywood, California resident and proud homosexual Luca Ghirardelli has revealed that he is unable to appreciate the gay-geared musical and fashion stylings of Lady Gaga.

Vancouver, BC — Popular atheistic website godsux.com, which regularly mocked and satirized the concept of a Divine Creator, has vanished from the Internet and is being feared smitten by the Almighty One Himself.

Fort Collins, CO — The mother of the 6-year-old boy who was feared to have floated away in a home-made helium balloon has reportedly broken down and confessed that the whole thing was a ruse so their family could be on TV again.