So, the dusts of Christmas have finally settled. You’ve returned/exchanged all the unwanted presents you possibly can except for one last thing: a Clay Aiken CD.

So, if you’re genuinely interested in finding out what it feels like for a goth, the best way is to be goth yourself. It’s easy! All you need is a genuine sense of wonder, open-mindedness, creativity and an appreciation of the duality of existence. And, to help you get started, I’ve come up with seven important tips on becoming a fierce goth.

The US Department of Homeland Security has created Ready.gov, a website intended to give Americans useful tips on how to better prepare and help themselves when terrorism rears its ugly head in these trying and tense times.