Washington, DC — U.S. Congressman Barney Frank has sponsored legislation making it mandatory for Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine to be shirtless at all times.

Queens, NY — The Association of Narcissistic Americans (ANAm) today threw their support behind embattled New York Congressman Anthony Weiner and encouraged him to “hang in there, keep your head up high, and stay strong.”

A coalition of grassroots religious groups and family-oriented organizations in the United States has started a lobbying campaign on Capitol Hill to put a stop to the showbiz careers being forged by the children of actor Will Smith.

Columbia, SC — Former Alaska governor and 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin believes that annexing Mexico as an official self-governing, unincorporated territory of the United States will solve the country’s perennial illegal immigration problem.

Minneapolis – Saint Paul, MN — The health care debate in the United States has taken an unusual twist today after Minnesota congresswoman Michelle Bachmann announced she would support President Barack Obama’s reform initiative if liberal talk show host Rachel Maddow wears a frilly blouse.