Mariah Carey named “Super-Ultra-Mega-Platinum No. 1 Artist Of All Eternity” by U.S. west coast laundromats

Mariah Carey reaches out for a strudel

Mimi reaches for a strudel

Mariah Carey has been named the “Super-Ultra-Mega-Platinum No. 1 Artist Of All Eternity” by the Baja Inter-coastal Laundry League Board Of Artistic Recreational Development.

The group, which represents over 20,000 franchised laundromats in and around the West Coast of the United States, announced their pick at their annual convention held in San Diego, California.

“There is no other artist more deserving of this honor than Mariah,” said Cristobal Martinez, the group’s chairman. “She has touched us all with her voice and artistry in every cycle, 24-7. She is the Queen.”

Martinez said that Carey’s “We Belong Together” has been in heavy rotation at every laundromat they own, and has topped their Hot 100 Spin Cycle hit singles chart for a record-breaking 47 weeks. Celine Dion used to hold the record with “My Heart Will Go On,” which went on and on for 37 weeks at the top in 1998/99.

The distinction comes in the wake of a disappointing performance by the five-octave singer at the 48th Grammy Awards last night. Carey went in with a leading 8 nominations, but walked away with only three, none of which were for major categories. All three awards were handed out before the telecast, which denied the singer the opportunity to climb the stage and make an emotional speech about her triumphant comeback.

“We’d be lying if we said Mariah is not a little disappointed she didn’t get to cry on national television like Kelly Clarkson did. It was supposed to be her night. She had a lovely speech prepared. She was going to go all out with the drama and sticking it to the haters. But, she made it through many rains, and she can make it through this drizzle,” the pop singer’s publicist said in a statement.

The publicist added that “Mariah is very proud to accept the ‘Super-Ultra-Mega-Platinum No. 1 Artist Of All Eternity’ award, no doubt another feather to her hat, and wishes to thank all the laundromat owners for their neverending support and love.”

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