Americans appalled by Trump presidency turn to cryonics for escape

Escaping Trump with cryonics

More and more Americans embarrassed by the incompetence and disgracefulness of Donald Trump’s presidency have turned to or are seriously considering temporary cryonic suspension to escape the unbearable political climate in America.

Two of the country’s top companies specializing in cryonics – the science of deep-freezing humans and animals with the intent of reviving them at a later time – have reported a steady increase in inquiries and sign-ups from citizens disgruntled with and disgusted by Trump.

Evelyn Mulcahy, a spokesperson for Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Arizona, said they started getting emails and phone calls from people immediately after Trump’s U.S. Electoral College victory in November last year.

“We initially thought they were just pulling pranks, but it soon became very clear that these were very serious people,” said Mulcahy.

Mulcahy said the most common question they field is how much it would cost to be cryogenically frozen and then revived on January 20, 2021, when Trump presumably leaves office. Others are more conditional and specific, she said.

“I recall someone in particular who had asked if they could be frozen and then revived once Trump was removed from office or sent to jail,” said Mulcahy. “It is absolutely unbelievable, the amount of interest out there right now, and I think it will only keep getting more intense.”

Cryonics expert Dr. Greg Jensen, who works for Alcor’s rival company Cryonics Institute in Michigan, echoes Mulcahy’s assessment.

“I think it’s rather unfortunate that we have a President who is so embarrassing and so deplorable that he utterly drives people to think about literally freezing themselves just so that they can escape the shame in being an American right now,” said Jensen. “It speaks volumes.”

Jensen said that of the thousands of temporary cryonic suspension inquiries they have received, only a very small percentage actually committed to the procedure.

“We obviously cannot reveal names and numbers, but yes, we do have people frozen and waiting to be revived once Trump is out of office or in jail,” said Jensen.

According to Jensen, the reason for this is the high price point. The average cost of vitrification perfusion and long term storage can run upwards of $28,000.

“Once they find out how much it would cost, majority of the people inquiring completely drop the idea and just decide to stick it out and weather the embarrassment of the Trump administration,” said Jensen.

Previous post

Jeff Sessions sets Guinness record for number of times 'I don't recall' uttered at U.S. Senate hearing

Next post

Naked man on train slaps Houston cop, gets tasered