World 38% more peaceful after Lady Gaga prayer initiative

Meditating Lady: “My intention is to connect us all through inner peace.”

A day after failed pop singer and aspiring cult leader Lady Gaga invited everyone in the world to pray, world peace has increased by 38%.

According to World Peace Watchers (WPW), an independent group dedicated to observing and reporting the levels of world peace, there was a significant spike in calmness throughout the world at around 3:30 PM PST, when Lady Gaga said she would be broadcasting her 20-minute prayer session on Instagram.

The Zürich-based non-profit estimates over 2 billion people worldwide participated in the peace initiative, an unprecedented achievement.

“It is simply astounding how with a few effortless keystrokes, Lady Gaga can inspire multitudes of people and bring about much-needed peace in the world,” said Erik Saulter, WPW Chief of Operations. “If we had a few more people like her, world peace would be a cinch.”

Meanwhile, Baltimore-based Sanity Collective, an independent group with a mandate of “keeping it real” and “saving the gullible,” reported a 79% increase in global eye-rolling after Lady Gaga announced she would be Instagramming her prayer session.

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  • Mierzwiak

    If only she could increase sales numbers of her flop albums!

  • Iconic

    If only she could increase attendance numbers at her flop concerts!

  • J J

    This is pure GOLD. Lmaooooo