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Oscars introduce frontal nudity category After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’ Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests
 
Oscars introduce frontal nudity category

Oscars introduce frontal nudity category

Beverly Hills, CA — Bowing to increased pressure from its members, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) today announced the addition of a new awards category recognizing actors and actresses for their outstanding achievement in full frontal nudity on film.

Oscars introduce frontal nudity category
After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’

After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’

New York — Thousands gathered Sunday morning at former Tower Records stores around the United States to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the tragic release of Mariah Carey's catastrophic "Glitter" album.

After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’
Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced

Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced

Washington, DC — U.S. Congressman Barney Frank has sponsored legislation making it mandatory for Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine to be shirtless at all times.

Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced
Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox

Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox

Norwalk, CT — Pop singer Lady Gaga has signed a multi-year deal with the Xerox Company as its new Director of Brand Recognition.

Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox
Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Damascus, Syria — The couple photographed kissing during the hockey riots at Vancouver this week has been invited to restage their romantic smooch seen around the world at the ongoing pro-democracy protests in Syria.

Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Recent headlines

Raunchy ‘B’ shows off Oprah’s other side

Raunchy ‘B’ shows off Oprah’s other side

Published on September 7, 2009

Move over FHM and Maxim and make room for Oprah Winfrey's jelly.

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Office clerk to re-enact author’s memoirs

Office clerk to re-enact author’s memoirs

Published on August 19, 2009

Cardiff, Wales -- A government worker desperate to acquire some level of social significance is re-enacting American author Julie Powell's memoirs "Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously" page by page.

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New Mariah Carey album to be renamed in Qatar

New Mariah Carey album to be renamed in Qatar

Published on July 13, 2009

Los Angeles, CA -- U.S. pop star Mariah Carey's twelfth studio album, "Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel," will be marketed under a different title in the Arab emirate of Qatar.

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Unilever releases commemorative Michael Jackson beauty bar

Unilever releases commemorative Michael Jackson beauty bar

Published on July 11, 2009

Multinational corporation Unilever has expanded its Dove personal care product line with the release of a commemorative Michael Jackson beauty bar called 'Dove Whiteface.'

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Posted in BusinessComments (1)

Al Sharpton mistakenly shows up at unpopular black person’s funeral

Published on July 9, 2009

Plain Dealing, LA -- The Reverend Al Sharpton was caught red-faced today after he showed up to give a speech at what he thought was former NFL star Steve McNair's memorial service.

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Posted in LivingComments (1)

Man unmoved by Jackson memorial ordered to psychiatric evaluation

Published on July 8, 2009

Piscataway, NJ -- An accountant who displayed no trace of grief or sadness during Michael Jackson's televised memorial service Tuesday has been ordered by his employer to submit to psychiatric evaluation immediately.

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After being officially released as a single from her forthcoming 12th studio album, Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin' (feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.) zooms 15-1 this week. This is the Queen of Pop's eighth No. 1 on the countdown.

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  • # Papa John’s apologizes for receipt’s racial slur
    → Papa John’s Pizza fired a cashier at one of its New York restaurants and apologized to an Asian-American customer for a receipt that identified her as “lady chinky eyes.” (Lawwwd. I call muh friend a “big nappy headed hoe” but she dun fire muh azz.)
  • # Too little protein may equal too much body fat
    → People who consistently consume more calories than they burn each day will lose lean muscle and accumulate body fat more easily if their diets contain too little protein and too much fat and carbohydrates, suggests a study published this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
  • # Man donates sperm to dozens of women met online, drawing fire from feds
    → Physicians and the federal government cited the case of a San Francisco Bay area man who has fathered 14 children as an example of the risks posed by the informal market for sperm donations, which doctors consider unsafe but some people call a civil liberties issue. (Summabody git muh this man’s numbah!)
  • # Where is the love in R&B music?
    → Listening to black music today is depressing. Songs on today’s urban radio playlists are drained of romance, tenderness and seduction. And it’s not just about the rise of hardcore hip-hop or rappers who denigrate women. (I’ll tell you whurr. Aretha Franklin ate it all.)

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