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Oscars introduce frontal nudity category After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’ Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests
 
Oscars introduce frontal nudity category

Oscars introduce frontal nudity category

Beverly Hills, CA — Bowing to increased pressure from its members, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) today announced the addition of a new awards category recognizing actors and actresses for their outstanding achievement in full frontal nudity on film.

Oscars introduce frontal nudity category
After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’

After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’

New York — Thousands gathered Sunday morning at former Tower Records stores around the United States to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the tragic release of Mariah Carey's catastrophic "Glitter" album.

After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’
Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced

Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced

Washington, DC — U.S. Congressman Barney Frank has sponsored legislation making it mandatory for Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine to be shirtless at all times.

Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced
Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox

Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox

Norwalk, CT — Pop singer Lady Gaga has signed a multi-year deal with the Xerox Company as its new Director of Brand Recognition.

Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox
Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Damascus, Syria — The couple photographed kissing during the hockey riots at Vancouver this week has been invited to restage their romantic smooch seen around the world at the ongoing pro-democracy protests in Syria.

Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Recent headlines

Child spills milk, crying averted

Published on November 18, 2008

Boysack, Scotland -- A local potato dealer successfully thwarted a clichéd metaphor when he prevented his young child from going into hysterics over a glass of spilled milk.

Read the full story

Posted in WorldComments (2)

Non-iPhone owner belittled at company gathering

Published on November 15, 2008

San Francisco, CA -- A Silicon Valley comptroller is considering legal action against his co-workers after being teased about not owning an iPhone during a company gathering earlier this month.

Read the full story

Posted in BusinessComments (1)

Fan forum flame war leads to botched sex change operation

Published on October 25, 2008

Monterrey, Mexico -- Police are investigating allegations that an intense disagreement between rival cliques on an online Madonna message board has led to the genital disfigurement of a male fan hoping to become a full-fledged woman.

Read the full story

Posted in WorldComments (4)

Study: FedEx couriers ‘easy on the nose’

Published on September 29, 2008

Vancouver, BC -- Federal Express couriers smell nice, a market study has found.

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Posted in BusinessComments (0)

Hotdog vendor feels important after attending film festival

Published on September 19, 2008

Toronto, ON -- The 2008 Toronto International Film Festival may have already wrapped up, but Jagdish Kulkarni is still basking in the prestigious event's corporate-sponsored afterglow.

Read the full story

Posted in LivingComments (1)

Beyonce to lefties: Replace my song!

Published on September 15, 2008

R&B singer and occasional actress Beyoncé Knowles has blasted the National Organization of Left-Handed People (NOLHaP) for illegally using her song "Irreplaceable" at their annual convention and demanded the group to cease and desist immediately.

Read the full story

Posted in EntertainmentComments (0)

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After being officially released as a single from her forthcoming 12th studio album, Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin' (feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.) zooms 15-1 this week. This is the Queen of Pop's eighth No. 1 on the countdown.

White Ninja

  • # Papa John’s apologizes for receipt’s racial slur
    → Papa John’s Pizza fired a cashier at one of its New York restaurants and apologized to an Asian-American customer for a receipt that identified her as “lady chinky eyes.” (Lawwwd. I call muh friend a “big nappy headed hoe” but she dun fire muh azz.)
  • # Too little protein may equal too much body fat
    → People who consistently consume more calories than they burn each day will lose lean muscle and accumulate body fat more easily if their diets contain too little protein and too much fat and carbohydrates, suggests a study published this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
  • # Man donates sperm to dozens of women met online, drawing fire from feds
    → Physicians and the federal government cited the case of a San Francisco Bay area man who has fathered 14 children as an example of the risks posed by the informal market for sperm donations, which doctors consider unsafe but some people call a civil liberties issue. (Summabody git muh this man’s numbah!)
  • # Where is the love in R&B music?
    → Listening to black music today is depressing. Songs on today’s urban radio playlists are drained of romance, tenderness and seduction. And it’s not just about the rise of hardcore hip-hop or rappers who denigrate women. (I’ll tell you whurr. Aretha Franklin ate it all.)

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