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Oscars introduce frontal nudity category After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’ Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests
 
Oscars introduce frontal nudity category

Oscars introduce frontal nudity category

Beverly Hills, CA — Bowing to increased pressure from its members, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) today announced the addition of a new awards category recognizing actors and actresses for their outstanding achievement in full frontal nudity on film.

Oscars introduce frontal nudity category
After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’

After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’

New York — Thousands gathered Sunday morning at former Tower Records stores around the United States to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the tragic release of Mariah Carey's catastrophic "Glitter" album.

After a decade of grief and recovery, nation remembers Mariah Carey’s ‘Glitter’
Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced

Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced

Washington, DC — U.S. Congressman Barney Frank has sponsored legislation making it mandatory for Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine to be shirtless at all times.

Legislation mandating ’round-the-clock’ shirtlessness for Maroon 5 singer introduced
Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox

Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox

Norwalk, CT — Pop singer Lady Gaga has signed a multi-year deal with the Xerox Company as its new Director of Brand Recognition.

Lady Gaga is the new face of Xerox
Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Damascus, Syria — The couple photographed kissing during the hockey riots at Vancouver this week has been invited to restage their romantic smooch seen around the world at the ongoing pro-democracy protests in Syria.

Vancouver riot kissers invited to Syrian protests

Recent headlines

Amateur astronomers mistake Janet Jackson’s buttocks for new galaxy

Published on September 12, 2008

Hygiene, CO -- A group of astronomy enthusiasts in Colorado became the butt of jokes in the scientific community after laying claim to the discovery of a new galaxy that turned out to be pop singer Janet Jackson's buttocks.

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Posted in Science & TechnologyComments (1)

New Madonna album to hit stores in early 2010

Published on September 11, 2008

Reuters (NEW YORK, NY) -- The Queen of Pop has just put the finishing touches on her next studio album entitled "Tick Tock Fuzzy Bubble", to be released in the spring of 2010.

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Posted in EntertainmentComments (29)

Obama to hold “ladies only” campaign rallies

Published on September 5, 2008

CHICAGO, IL -- In a move that is sure to further bolster his burgeoning sex symbol status, Barack Obama is to hold a string of "ladies only" campaign rallies.

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Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Suicide attempt ends in arrest for depressed cage fighter

Published on April 3, 2008

Beckley, WV -- An amateur cage fighter is in police custody after assaulting a teenager who tried to steal his belongings while he was attempting to commit suicide.

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Posted in CrimeComments (1)

Cheerleaders dump Clinton, throw support behind Obama

Published on March 18, 2008

Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential aspirations took another blow today after the Coastal Association of Cheerleaders in America (CACA) withdrew their support for the former First Lady and declared Barack Obama as "wicked cool."

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Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

Soccer mom acquires ‘hip’ music taste stalking cool kids on MySpace

Published on March 11, 2008

Winthrop, MA -- One year ago, Sally Waddington had no idea who My Chemical Romance, Dashboard Confessional, and Fall Out Boy were and what kind of music they played. Now, the 52-year-old mother of three is well-versed on nearly every post-Green Day pop/punk band in existence. She even knows Gerard Way's current hair color, how many tattoos Chris Carrabba has, and who Pete Wentz is dating.

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Posted in Entertainment, LivingComments (2)

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After being officially released as a single from her forthcoming 12th studio album, Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin' (feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.) zooms 15-1 this week. This is the Queen of Pop's eighth No. 1 on the countdown.

White Ninja

  • # Papa John’s apologizes for receipt’s racial slur
    → Papa John’s Pizza fired a cashier at one of its New York restaurants and apologized to an Asian-American customer for a receipt that identified her as “lady chinky eyes.” (Lawwwd. I call muh friend a “big nappy headed hoe” but she dun fire muh azz.)
  • # Too little protein may equal too much body fat
    → People who consistently consume more calories than they burn each day will lose lean muscle and accumulate body fat more easily if their diets contain too little protein and too much fat and carbohydrates, suggests a study published this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
  • # Man donates sperm to dozens of women met online, drawing fire from feds
    → Physicians and the federal government cited the case of a San Francisco Bay area man who has fathered 14 children as an example of the risks posed by the informal market for sperm donations, which doctors consider unsafe but some people call a civil liberties issue. (Summabody git muh this man’s numbah!)
  • # Where is the love in R&B music?
    → Listening to black music today is depressing. Songs on today’s urban radio playlists are drained of romance, tenderness and seduction. And it’s not just about the rise of hardcore hip-hop or rappers who denigrate women. (I’ll tell you whurr. Aretha Franklin ate it all.)

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