Beyoncé: Bad title is not irreplaceable

Beyoncé's forthcoming new album, 4, will be officially sold as Noodle in China, Japan and Korea.

The title change was decided after a conclusive market research conducted by Columbia Records showed that people in the above mentioned markets will most likely avoid buying the album with its original title because the number "4" is generally considered unlucky.

Columbia Records head honcho Rob Stringer said the title change "shows Beyoncé's and the company's deepest respect for our Asian demographic."

"Beyoncé was involved in this decision every step of the way," Stringer said. "She's very hands-on, and cares a lot about her Asian fans."

When asked how they came up with the album's replacement title, Stringer explained they wanted "something that Asian people can easily relate to."

"It was either 'Rice' or 'Noodle,'" Stringer said. "Beyoncé decided on the latter because she loves them ramen noodles."

Stringer added the title change will not impact the album's release date in those markets.

Beyonce can see your Haiti-lo...

Los Angeles, CA -- With over $57 million USD raised so far, the "Hope For Haiti Now" telethon is without a doubt a resounding triumph of charity and compassion, but to some, like donor Desiree "Baby" Bowes, the event left something to be desired.

Bowes, 23, said she was hoping she would get to talk to "Reese Witherspoon, or maybe even Steven Spielberg," but instead got Chevy Chase to take her $25 donation.

"I was really bummed," said the professional dog walker and aspiring screenwriter. "Like, who the hell wants to talk to Chevy Chase?"

Chase is one of numerous recognizable people in music, film, television and sports who donated their time and effort to what is perhaps the most televised and media-exposed event in history. Other more notable celebrities who took part in the George Clooney-spearheaded initiative were Jack Nicholson, Tobey Maguire, Justin Timberlake, Bruce Springsteen, Beyonce and Madonna.

According to Bowes, she was "miffed for a minute" that Chevy Chase wouldn't transfer her call to Ms. Witherspoon but took solace in the inspired performances of the diverse mix of musicians who appeared at the event.

Pop queen Madonna's cheeks performed "Like A Prayer" backed by a full choir.

When asked why the 51-year old Material Girl herself had to take a raincheck on the proceedings, spokesperson Liz Rosenberg responded, "she heard Jennifer Hudson's rehearsal."

Meanwhile, R&B singer and occasional actress Beyonce's fans were up in arms over her decision to change the lyrics to her worldwide hit "Halo" to include the word "Haiti."

"The gesture was sweet, but really not necessary and turned out to be cringe-worthy," said LaShonda Reeds, 25, who said she swore she heard the "Single Ladies" singer sing "I can see your Haiti-lo, Haiti-Lo, Haiti-lo..." during some parts of the song.

"I was like, 'What the hell is a Haiti-lo?'" Reeds added. "It was just uncomfortable to listen to."

Those who missed the telethon can still make donations on the Hope For Haiti Now website at https://www.hopeforhaitinow.org/.

(With contributions from Roger Darling.)

Too cute!