Chūō, Tokyo — Police authorities have ruled as accidental the death of a 22-year-old hipster found in his apartment Thursday hanging from the top of a double-decker bed, suspended by an H&M scarf.

Piscataway, NJ — An accountant who displayed no trace of grief or sadness during Michael Jackson’s televised memorial service Tuesday has been ordered by his employer to submit to psychiatric evaluation immediately.

Pahrump, Nevada — While the whole world mourned in unison for Michael Jackson, an ice cream vendor beloved by many in the community was being buried quietly in a simple ceremony, surrounded by those he knew and whose lives he touched.