Al Sharpton: new King

Plain Dealing, LA -- The Reverend Al Sharpton was caught red-faced today after he showed up to give a speech at what he thought was former NFL star Steve McNair's memorial service.

The deceased at the funeral ceremony turned out to be a namesake of the slain Tennessee Titans quarterback. He was a quiet former shoe salesman who died Saturday at age 58 after a long bout with foot cancer.

"I'm sorry, I thought this was Air McNair's memorial," Sharpton said after realizing the dead African-American in the casket was the wrong Steve McNair.

Sheila Tempest, McNair's wife, said she was "just plain dumbfounded" by the sight of one of the most influential, morally sound, selfless, integrative, and respectable black rights activists since Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sharpton briefly posed for pictures and signed autographs before making his way out of the small chapel at Plain Dealing Cemetery with his assistants in tow.

According to Tempest, she had asked Sharpton to say a few words at the gathering but was politely declined "due to a scheduling conflict."

"It was a long shot, but I understand he has a very busy schedule. But to have him here at Stevie's final gathering, just his very presence, even if it's a mistake, is an unforgettable experience that I will cherish forever," she said.

It is unclear how Sharpton ended up at the funeral in Plain Dealing, Louisiana, but witnesses say they saw Sharpton outside the chapel looking very upset and yelling at his assistants for the embarrassing snafu.

"How the hell you gon' mess up Whites Creek, Tennessee?" Sharpton was heard saying, referring to the town where a memorial is being held today for the former NFL quarterback.

McNair is scheduled to be buried in his native Mississippi Saturday.

Bailey: A Prince fan, perhaps?

Piscataway, NJ -- An accountant who displayed no trace of grief or sadness during Michael Jackson's televised memorial service Tuesday has been ordered by his employer to submit to psychiatric evaluation immediately.

Terrance Bailey, 37, called the decision "completely ridiculous" and said he plans to file a harassment complaint with the New Jersey Human Rights Board.

"Just because I didn't participate in a nationwide grieving session for a pop singer doesn't mean I need to get checked in the head," Bailey said. "If there is anyone who needs to get evaluated, it's my boss."

Bailey said his entire department was given the afternoon off Tuesday, provided that they stayed and watched the entire memorial proceedings on TV in one of the company boardrooms. Everyone but Bailey welcomed the idea.

"He stuck out like a sore thumb. While everyone in the room was all tears, he was playing Solitaire on his laptop," said his co-worker Merena Gomez, 27. "He is inhuman, that man. I mean, Michael Jackson died. At least look sad or something."

Montgomery Frost, 56, said he stands by his decision to send Bailey to psychiatric evaluation, saying: "This company must know that its employees are fit to work here - mentally and physically. I cannot risk taking a chance, not after his cold hearted behavior during the memorial telecast. It is disturbing."

When asked what he thought of Michael Jackson's sudden death from cardiac arrest on June 25th, Bailey refused to comment. "That's a whole other can of living, moonwalking worms. I'm not touching that one with a 10-year-old hotdog," he said.