Bieber: Almost got shaved

Los Angeles, CA -- Justin Bieber has sprouted his first chest hair, but his record label and management team do not want you to know about it.

The 16-year-old tween sensation excitedly tweeted about the bodily development on his Twitter account Sunday, but the message was removed within minutes, most likely ordered by the singer's father and manager, Jeremy.

Insiders say Bieber's public relations management team has convened emergency brainstorming sessions to devise ways to contain information about the singer's accelerating growth and physical development.

"Let's be honest here. Most of Justin's fans are young tween girls, and to those girls, body hair is just gross," said an anonymous source. "As soon as they find out that Justin is turning into a Sasquatch, they'll bail, and there goes the cash cow."

The same source said that Bieber's mother, Pattie Mallette, panicked upon discovering her son's chest hair, reportedly an inch directly above his right nipple, and "almost shaved it off with a Gillette." The singer's quick-thinking father got to the razor in time and prevented the potentially catastrophic act.

"Everyone knows that shaving chest hair will only bring more hair, coarser hair," said the source.

Bieber is currently preparing for his first headlining world tour, which kicks off in Connecticut on June 23rd. A second leg, which will see the young sensation performing for the rest of the year, was added recently in order to fulfill demand.

So cute!

Woman wanted a cupful of Bieber

Sydney, NSW, Australia -- A woman pretending to be a representative for a fictitious institution concerned with the preservation of the human race has been arrested following a failed attempt to solicit Justin Bieber for a semen donation.

New South Wales Police Constable John Bottletooth said Andrea Lynne Horsmith, 42, originally of Darling Downs, Queensland, approached the young Canadian teen sensation at Seven Network's Sunrise Studio in Martin Place where he made a brief appearance following the cancellation of a show he was to have given at the Forecourt in front of the Overseas Passenger Terminal.

In a brief interview with police investigators, Bieber said Horsmith introduced herself as a "semen collector" for The Human Race Preservatory, an organization whose sole aim is to restart humanity should a cataclysmic event decimate the human population to dangerously low levels.

"She said I was one of the few people they have chosen to repopulate the Earth in case everyone dies," the "Baby" singer said. "Then she gave me this plastic cup and asked me to fill it up with my baby gravy."

Thrilled by the honour of seeding the new Earth with his spawn, the 16-year-old heartthrob took the cup and headed to a nearby washroom "to rub one out." Bieber was reportedly stopped by his father Jeremy, who notified police immediately after realizing what was going on.

"I'm quite honestly shocked by the lengths some people will go to, just to get a piece, well, in this case, a cupful, of my son," said the elder Bieber. "It is just absolutely sickening."

After intense questioning by the police, Horsmith admitted she only wanted the young singer's semen so that she could impregnate herself with it.

"I'm not a monster or an evil conniver," said Horsmith. "I'm just a lonely woman whose biological clock is running out."

The former nurse is in police custody and facing multiple charges of fraud by false representation, sexual solicitation, attempted theft of bodily fluids and attempted nonconsensual procreation. If convicted, she faces up to 2 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

Seven Network is presently conducting its own investigation to determine how Horsmith breached their security protocols and managed to get that close to Bieber.

"At this point, we're not ruling out an inside job," said Seven Network security chief Alec Rowson. "That's the only way this sick woman could've gotten inside the studio."

Hell no. :S