Freestyle singer Safire, who rose to fame briefly in the early 90s, is enjoying a career resurgence thanks to Michael Jackson’s “new” single, “This Is It.”

Multinational corporation Unilever has expanded its Dove personal care product line with the release of a commemorative Michael Jackson beauty bar called ‘Dove Whiteface.’

Piscataway, NJ — An accountant who displayed no trace of grief or sadness during Michael Jackson’s televised memorial service Tuesday has been ordered by his employer to submit to psychiatric evaluation immediately.

Pahrump, Nevada — While the whole world mourned in unison for Michael Jackson, an ice cream vendor beloved by many in the community was being buried quietly in a simple ceremony, surrounded by those he knew and whose lives he touched.

Michael Jackson, the erstwhile King of Pop now demoted to overseas jesting, has filed a collective lawsuit against various print and Internet publishers for refusing to publish photographs showing him and son “Prince” in Hallmark “father-and-son” moments.