Morvan: Girl you know it's real

Los Angeles, CA -- The vocals on Michael Jackson's new single, "Breaking News," are without a doubt the King of Pop's, according to the surviving member of multi-platinum-selling 80s pop duo Milli Vanilli.

Fab Morvan, 44, came forward with his unequivocal support of the song in the wake of mixed public reaction since its online debut Sunday. Morvan said he knows "exactly what it feels like to have your blood, sweat and tears questioned and publicly torn apart" and strongly felt the need to make his feelings known.

"I'm a big fan of Michael Jackson's music, and for his legacy to be subjected to this sort of doubt and second-guessing is just beyond unfathomable," said Morvan.

According to Nielsen BDS, 151 U.S. stations sampled "Breaking News" yesterday on formats ranging from pop and R&B/hip-hop to adult, rock and oldies. The song received 246 plays in its first day of availability and reached an estimated 2.2 million listeners. "Breaking News" is the lead-off single from "Michael," the album of reportedly all-new material set for release next month.

A majority of radio program directors across the nation reported listener reaction to be extremely mixed, with a great number calling in to either question the song's authenticity, or express their disappointment over its "unfinished quality."

Even the late pop singer's family members have come forward to cast doubt on the authenticity of the entire project.

"Deceptively merging shady vocals with MJ samples (from prior MJ records) will never fool me," TJ Jackson, the son of Michael's brother Tito Jackson, wrote on Twitter. "I'm disgusted, disappointed and saddened."

LaToya Jackson also appeared to question whether the voice is really her brother's, telling TMZ, "I listened to it ... It doesn't sound like him."

Morvan implored everyone to "just sit down and enjoy the music and bask in the glory of Michael's creativity."

"We should thank our lucky stars above that we are able to experience Michael's music even after his passing," added Morvan. "If you love his music, that's all that matters."

(We at bent*spud say you be the judge. Listen to the track below.)

Safire: Grateful for the exposure

Freestyle singer Safire, who rose to fame briefly in the early 90s, is enjoying a career resurgence thanks to Michael Jackson's "new" single, "This Is It."

The new track, which premiered Sunday on the late King Of Pop's website, is actually a song called "I Never Heard" that Safire had recorded and released to much less fanfare in 1991. It was co-written by Jackson and Paul Anka.

Shortly after the song premiered, enterprising fans took to the Internet and quickly figured out the truth. Some fans believe the track is actually the demo that Jackson recorded for Safire back in 1991 that Sony Music Entertainment polished up and gilded with additional lush instrumentation and backing vocals by Jackson's brothers, the Jacksons.

"You can clearly tell there is something amiss with his vocals on this one," says Tracy Marjoram, a longtime Michael Jackson fan. "I mean, he still sounds great on it, it’s just not 'single' material."

In a statement released to the press, Safire said she doesn't mind that Jackson's recording company is trying to pass off an old track of hers as something new.

"I'm just really grateful for the exposure," said Safire. "I mean, up until today, no one gave a rat's ass about me. Now people are downloading and listening to my songs. It's a win-win for everybody."

The freestyle singer said she is planning re-record "I Never Heard" and release it as part of a greatest hits compilation, tentatively titled "This Is Me."

"I'm itching to go back out there again and prove to the world that I'm no flash in the pan," said the 42-year-old singer. "Well, I'll probably go and get my eyebrows waxed first, but watch out world, 'coz the freestyle princess is back!"

Listen to Safire's "I Never Heard" here:

Dove Whiteface: It don't matter if you're black or white.

Multinational corporation Unilever has expanded its Dove personal care product line with the release of a commemorative Michael Jackson beauty bar called 'Dove Whiteface.'

"We wanted to celebrate Michael Jackson the best way we can, and we feel this is it," said Chairman Michael Treschow. "We understand and feel deeply for Michael's struggle with vitiligo and hope this new product would help others suffering from the same condition."

Vitiligo is a relatively common chronic skin disorder that causes loss of pigmentation in patches of skin. Jackson said he suffered from the condition, which eventually led him to the drastic measure of eradicating the pigmentation in his entire body.

The product, which shipped to retails stores worldwide just days after the televised memorial service for the late King of Pop, contains the active ingredient monobenzene which not just lightens but actually removes pigment from the skin. Regular use of the product would eventually leave a permanent albino complexion. Unfortunately, anyone who uses the product would have to stay away from the sun for the rest of their life, a side-effect which Treschow says is acceptable.

"You get to have beautiful alabaster skin. So what if you have to carry an umbrella or wear a mask in public at all times?" said Treschow.

Michael Jackson's family has not officially sanctioned Whiteface, but his sister LaToya reportedly has already ordered a year's supply.

"She's crazy about it. She understands the product, and we are happy to give it to her at cost," said Unilever Marketing Chief Ceska Torche. "We are actually considering her as the official spokesperson."

Whiteface retails at $365 for a package of two bars.

Bailey: A Prince fan, perhaps?

Piscataway, NJ -- An accountant who displayed no trace of grief or sadness during Michael Jackson's televised memorial service Tuesday has been ordered by his employer to submit to psychiatric evaluation immediately.

Terrance Bailey, 37, called the decision "completely ridiculous" and said he plans to file a harassment complaint with the New Jersey Human Rights Board.

"Just because I didn't participate in a nationwide grieving session for a pop singer doesn't mean I need to get checked in the head," Bailey said. "If there is anyone who needs to get evaluated, it's my boss."

Bailey said his entire department was given the afternoon off Tuesday, provided that they stayed and watched the entire memorial proceedings on TV in one of the company boardrooms. Everyone but Bailey welcomed the idea.

"He stuck out like a sore thumb. While everyone in the room was all tears, he was playing Solitaire on his laptop," said his co-worker Merena Gomez, 27. "He is inhuman, that man. I mean, Michael Jackson died. At least look sad or something."

Montgomery Frost, 56, said he stands by his decision to send Bailey to psychiatric evaluation, saying: "This company must know that its employees are fit to work here - mentally and physically. I cannot risk taking a chance, not after his cold hearted behavior during the memorial telecast. It is disturbing."

When asked what he thought of Michael Jackson's sudden death from cardiac arrest on June 25th, Bailey refused to comment. "That's a whole other can of living, moonwalking worms. I'm not touching that one with a 10-year-old hotdog," he said.

Michaels: greatest ice cream vendor ever

Pahrump, Nevada -- While the whole world mourned in unison for Michael Jackson, an ice cream vendor beloved by many in the community was being buried quietly in a simple ceremony, surrounded by those he knew and whose lives he touched.

The eerily named Jackson Michaels died Sunday at age 50 doing what he did best and had done all his life: entice kids with his drumsticks and frozen lollipops, and his seasonal Santa slurpees. He suffered a heart attack while driving his ice cream truck on his usual Sunday morning route west of the US 95.

Speaking at the brief memorial service held before his burial, the president of the Western Nevada Ice Cream Vendors League, Chance Gordon, hailed Michaels as "possibly the greatest ice cream vendor that ever lived."

"He broke down all the ice cream vending barriers with his kindness and compassionate nature, and in the process sold more ice cream than anyone else in the entire sector," said Gordon. "The industry will miss him very much."

In a surprise move, the late vendor's 12-year-old daughter Jasmine asked to speak to the assemblage and had everyone in tears with her heartfelt and heartbreaking speech.

"Ever since I was born, Papa has been the best dad you could ever imagine," she said, fighting back tears as relatives stroked her hair. "And I just want to say that I miss him so much."

Michaels leaves behind two sons and a daughter, and an estate estimated to be worth about $10,000.