Palin: AnnexMex now

Columbia, SC -- Former Alaska governor and 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin believes that annexing Mexico as an official self-governing, unincorporated territory of the United States will solve the country's perennial illegal immigration problem.

The outspoken Tea Party luminary made the bold statement at a "no holds barred" press conference following her public endorsement of South Carolina GOP gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley.

"It's such a simple solution, really, and to be honest, I can't believe no one has seriously considered it before," Palin said in response to a reporter's question about where she stands on the hot button issue of illegal immigration.

Citing Puerto Rico as an example, Palin said it makes sense to make Mexico an official U.S. territory as it will dissuade Mexicans from illegally sneaking into the U.S. "Mexicans are dying literally to get onto U.S. soil. If we make their country U.S. soil, then they'll stop trying because they already are on it," she said.

In addition, Palin also stressed the many benefits of having "a whole other country" added to the U.S.

"For one, we have over 100 million people to draft from should we ever need to fight another war overseas," Palin said. "We don't have to send our own kids anymore. The Mexicans can go and die for us."

The "Going Rogue" author also beamed at the thought of having unrestricted access to Mexico's natural resources and taco exports.

"Oh, I do love a good taco, especially the ones made by real Mexicans," Palin added.

Faisal Shahzad: If I can't make it there...

New York, NY -- As federal investigation into the attempted bombing in New York's Times Square continues, new details have emerged pointing to another possible motivation that led to suspect Faisal Shahzad's criminal actions: revenge for a failed Broadway career.

Anonymous sources say the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has obtained strong evidence indicating the Pakistani born U.S. citizen had tried to forge a career on the Broadway stage as early as 2004, when he tried out for the role of Jacob in the revival of La Cage aux Folles. With no real stage experience under his belt, Shahzad failed to get the part, which eventually went to Michael Benjamin Washington.

The initial setback did not stop Shahzad from pursuing his Broadway dream. He subsequently auditioned for parts in countless other shows including Rent, Avenue Q, Wicked, Spring Awakening, and most recently, The Lion King. All of his Broadway attempts met with disappointing results, and that may have pushed the one-time accountant to go over the edge, according to the top secret FBI files.

"There is a strong possibility this is simply the vengeful act of a man who wanted to sing and dance on Broadway but didn't get to."

"The last straw may have been his outright rejection by the casting team for 'The Lion King,'" said an FBI insider. "This fully explains why he parked the explosives-filled vehicle adjacent to the Minskoff Theatre which was showing that musical."

Since his arrest Monday, Shahzad has taken full responsibility for the failed terrorist attack, claiming he had received training in bomb-making in the Waziristan region of Pakistan. Pakistani foreign affairs minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi said there is ample reason to believe the Taliban may have been involved. Federal investigators are still mum on the issue.

"It's far too easy to slap the Taliban or Al-Qaeda label on Shahzad," said the FBI insider. "But there is a strong possibility this is simply the vengeful act of a man who wanted to sing and dance on Broadway but didn't get to. The investigation is considering this as a valid angle."

A complaint filed in federal court on Tuesday charges Shahzad with five counts of terrorism-related crimes, including attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction. If convicted on these charges, he faces up to life in prison.

Bachmann: Wear a blouse, you unfrilly lesbian!

Minneapolis – Saint Paul, MN -- The health care debate in the United States has taken an unusual twist today after Minnesota congresswoman Michelle Bachmann announced she would support President Barack Obama's reform initiative if liberal talk show host Rachel Maddow wears a frilly blouse.

Bachmann issued the challenge at a special town hall meeting she called in Minnesota's 6th district in order to get the pulse on a number of hot button issues, as well as to test out a new "walk and wave" technique she recently learned at a posture and poise school.

"I have just had about enough of the left-wing liberal media. You know, sick puppies like Rachel Maddow," Bachmann said in her speech to an enthusiastic crowd of 2,500. "They talk hot air all the time, but what have they got to show for all their yappin'?"

Bachmann said critics of the Republican opposition to the proposed sweeping changes to health care are "too blinded by their left-wing bias and too comfortable in their Armani suits and Hybrids to even bother to try to see the debate from the conservatives' perspective."

"Unlike these liberals, I am willing to put my money where my mouth is," Bachmann stressed. "Rachel Maddow, I dare you to wear a frilly blouse and see it from my perspective. I bet you can't."

As a wager, Bachmann said she would rescind all of her negative opinions and criticisms of health care reform and throw her full support behind President Obama if Maddow complies. Bachmann then assured the crowd that "unfrilly lesbians like Maddow don't have the guts to wear a nice chiffon blouse."

The town hall meeting concluded with Bachmann giving away new autographed 8x10 head shots she had recently taken at a Sears in Coon Rapids, Minnesota.

As of presstime, Maddow has not issued an official response to Bachmann's challenge. Calls to her production office are not being answered.