
Lady Gaga, ‘A Star Is Born’ big winners at 4th Fishies
Louisville, KY — Convenient pain sufferer and Academy Award procurement expert Lady Gaga and the 2018 remake of A Star Is Born cleaned up at the Fourth Annual Fishy Awards held Monday at the P.F. Chang’s on Shelbyville Rd.

Avid moviegoer realizes ‘A Star Is Born’ 2018 remake not really all that great
Bradley Cooper’s 2018 remake of “A Star Is Born” wasn’t really all that great, an avid moviegoer and film aficionado has realized.
In a Facebook post, Joseph Willis, 39, said it dawned on him last week that the remake starring Cooper himself and experienced awards show groupie Lady Gaga was “middling at best” after rewatching the 1954 remake that was hailed as Judy Garland’s first great big comeback and universally loved by both the critics and the masses.

U.S. Senator Susan Collins to introduce ‘wire hanger’ bill to quell Roe v. Wade reversal fears
Stinging from renewed criticism for helping put beer lover and firm “boys will be boys” believer Brett Kavanaugh on the U.S. Supreme Court, U.S. Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) announced she will soon introduce a bill that would legalize the use of wire hangers to abort unwanted or life-threatening fetuses at home.

Area man trudges through ‘Westworld’ despite show’s ‘pretentious bullshit’
Big Arm, Montana — A Lake County man recently finished the second season of the HBO series “Westworld” after many months of contemplating whether or not “it’s worth suffering through its pretentious bullshit.”

Trump to deliver State of the Union address from golden toilet via Twitter
Washington, D.C. — Demolishing yet again another White House norm, autocrat adorer and hamburger enthusiast Dotard Trump is said to be planning on delivering this year’s State Of The Union address via a Twitter live feed from his golden toilet.