Louisville, KY — Convenient pain sufferer and Academy Award procurement expert Lady Gaga and the 2018 remake of A Star Is Born cleaned up at the Fourth Annual Fishy Awards held Monday at the P.F. Chang’s on Shelbyville Rd.

Bradley Cooper’s 2018 remake of “A Star Is Born” wasn’t really all that great, an avid moviegoer and film aficionado has realized.

In a Facebook post, Joseph Willis, 39, said it dawned on him last week that the remake starring Cooper himself and experienced awards show groupie Lady Gaga was “middling at best” after rewatching the 1954 remake that was hailed as Judy Garland’s first great big comeback and universally loved by both the critics and the masses.

Stinging from renewed criticism for helping put beer lover and firm “boys will be boys” believer Brett Kavanaugh on the U.S. Supreme Court, U.S. Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) announced she will soon introduce a bill that would legalize the use of wire hangers to abort unwanted or life-threatening fetuses at home.

Big Arm, Montana — A Lake County man recently finished the second season of the HBO series “Westworld” after many months of contemplating whether or not “it’s worth suffering through its pretentious bullshit.”

Washington, D.C. — Demolishing yet again another White House norm, autocrat adorer and hamburger enthusiast Dotard Trump is said to be planning on delivering this year’s State Of The Union address via a Twitter live feed from his golden toilet.