Coupon, Pennsylvania — Local visual and musical artist and self-professed cultural dissident Valerie Sanders has run out of ways to express herself and grab attention in the fast-paced era of social media driven by the constant fear of missing out.
Washington, D.C. — The AARP (formerly American Association of Retired Persons) has issued a scathing rebuke of Cleveland rapper Machine Gun Kelly for releasing his Eminem diss track “Rap Devil,” calling it “abuse of the elderly.”
Conservative U.S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh has broken his silence on why he turned his back on the father of a dead teen shooting victim during a break at his confirmation hearing Tuesday.
In a press conference shortly after the hearing had adjourned for the day, Kavanaugh told reporters he thought Fred Guttenberg, the father of Parkland teen Jamie Guttenberg, was a former gay acquaintance from college with whom he had a destructive and traumatic history.
La Malbaie, Quebec — Dreamy French President Emmanuel Macron accidentally rubbed off spray tan from orange tinted Kremlin kowtower Dotard Trump’s hand following an aggressively firm handshake at the G7 Summit in Canada.
Parkland, FL — Failed pop star and convenient pain sufferer Lady Gaga and rude White House occupant Dotard J. Trump were the big winners at the Third Annual Fishy Awards held Sunday in the iconic international foods aisle of the Parkland Commons Publix on N University Dr.