
Spray tan rubs off from Trump’s hand after aggressive handshake with French President Macron
La Malbaie, Quebec — Dreamy French President Emmanuel Macron accidentally rubbed off spray tan from orange tinted Kremlin kowtower Dotard Trump’s hand following an aggressively firm handshake at the G7 Summit in Canada.

Kim Jong-un wins Education Nobel Prize for ‘dotard’ Trump insult
North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un is the 2017 recipient of the Nobel Prize for Education, the Nobel committee of the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has announced.

World 38% more peaceful after Lady Gaga prayer initiative
A day after failed pop singer and aspiring cult leader Lady Gaga invited everyone in the world to pray, world peace has increased by 38%.

Malala wins Nobel Peace Prize, tells haters to ‘#SUCKIT’
After losing last year to an intergovernmental group that lobbies for the prohibition of chemical weapons, Pakistani child education activist and gunshot victim Malala Yousafzay has finally won the coveted Nobel Peace Prize this year, along with Indian child rights campaigner Kailash Satyarthi.

Malala throws tantrum over Nobel Peace Prize loss
Birmingham, England She’s widely known as the calm girl who speaks eloquently about her desire to be an instrument of change for young girls everywhere, but underneath it all, Malala Yousafzai is still just a teenager prone to the usual teenage emotions.