30 Jul 2019

Eric Trump doubles down on father’s claim of being at 9/11 Ground Zero: “He was totally there, we all were”

The second son of Kremlin kowtower and coronary thrombosis waitlister Dotard J. Trump on Tuesday bolstered his father’s claim of spending time with firefighters and police officers at New York’s Ground Zero in the wake of the deadliest terrorist attacks on U.S. soil in U.S. history.

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14 Feb 2019

U.S. Senator Susan Collins to introduce ‘wire hanger’ bill to quell Roe v. Wade reversal fears

Stinging from renewed criticism for helping put beer lover and firm “boys will be boys” believer Brett Kavanaugh on the U.S. Supreme Court, U.S. Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) announced she will soon introduce a bill that would legalize the use of wire hangers to abort unwanted or life-threatening fetuses at home.

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23 Jan 2019

Trump to deliver State of the Union address from golden toilet via Twitter

Washington, D.C. — Demolishing yet again another White House norm, autocrat adorer and hamburger enthusiast Dotard Trump is said to be planning on delivering this year’s State Of The Union address via a Twitter live feed from his golden toilet.

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28 Sep 2018

Jeff Flake cowers from angry sexual assault survivors

The cowardly senator from Arizona got an earful from sexual assault survivors after announcing his vote for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

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04 Sep 2018

Brett Kavanaugh: ‘I thought Guttenberg was my gay stalker from college’

Conservative U.S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh has broken his silence on why he turned his back on the father of a dead teen shooting victim during a break at his confirmation hearing Tuesday.

In a press conference shortly after the hearing had adjourned for the day, Kavanaugh told reporters he thought Fred Guttenberg, the father of Parkland teen Jamie Guttenberg, was a former gay acquaintance from college with whom he had a destructive and traumatic history.

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