George Lucas to re-release ‘Star Wars’

Intimidated by the recent takeover of Titanic as the Number One Box-Office Hit of all time, director George Lucas has launched a determined campaign to reclaim the title held for two decades by his classic 1977 movie Star Wars.

In a press conference attended by a handful of nostalgic reporters Monday, Lucas announced his plans to bring “Star Wars” back into theaters as soon as possible. He hopes the new run will bring in enough dough to sink “Titanic” down to second place.

The director has confirmed that never-before-seen-footages such as Darth Vader taking a bath and Han Solo giving Princess Leia a backrub will be included in the new “Star Wars” reissue. Lucas is confident that these outtakes will attract not only true Star Wars fans but other moviegoers as well.

“We’ll show Titanic who’s got the Force,” said Lucas.

Since its release in 1977, Star Wars has accumulated a total of $461 million and has been virtually unreachable in terms of commercial success. Until Titanic sailed along. The James Cameron-helmed romantic epic, starring Oscar-robbed Leonardo DiCaprio and the impossibly beautiful Kate Winslet, has been consistently packing theaters since it opened in December. As of press time, the disaster movie has earned well over $530 million and is still going strong. Now “Star Wars” is suddenly galaxies behind.

But Lucas promises “that will not be for long.” The visionary director hinted at “creating the iceberg if need be” to stop Titanic from making more money.

When asked to elaborate, Lucas merely smiled and said “if I tell anyone, I would have to kill them.”