Justin Bieber sprouts first chest hair; manager, record label worried

Bieber: Almost got shaved

Los Angeles, CA — Justin Bieber has sprouted his first chest hair, but his record label and management team do not want you to know about it.

The 16-year-old tween sensation excitedly tweeted about the bodily development on his Twitter account Sunday, but the message was removed within minutes, most likely ordered by the singer’s father and manager, Jeremy Bieber.

Insiders say Bieber’s public relations management team has convened emergency brainstorming sessions to devise ways to contain information about the singer’s accelerating growth and physical development.

“Let’s be honest here. Most of Justin’s fans are young tween girls, and to those girls, body hair is just gross,” said an anonymous source. “As soon as they find out that Justin is turning into a Sasquatch, they’ll bail, and there goes the cash cow.”

The same source said that Bieber’s mother, Pattie Mallette, panicked upon discovering her son’s chest hair, reportedly an inch directly above his right nipple, and “almost shaved it off with a Gillette.” The singer’s quick-thinking father got to the razor in time and prevented the potentially catastrophic act.

“Everyone knows that shaving chest hair will only bring more hair, coarser hair,” said the source.

Bieber is currently preparing for his first headlining world tour, which kicks off in Connecticut on June 23rd. A second leg, which will see the young sensation performing for the rest of the year, was added recently in order to fulfill demand.

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