Billboard Magazine article about ‘flop talk’ flops

Billboard Magazine: a flop of riches

Billboard Magazine: a flop of riches

An article published on music trade magazine Billboard imploring people to stop using the word “flop” in day-to-day parlance has flopped.

The piece, called “A Pop Shop New Year’s Resolution: It’s Time To Stop The ‘Flop’ Talk,” was written by regular contributor Jason Lipshutz and published Tuesday.

According to Internet traffic monitoring company Alexa.com, the article had only been viewed less than a hundred times since its publication and has an alarmingly high bounce rate of 99.76%.

“Many Internet pages have flopped and gone, but as far as flops go, this Billboard article is right up there along with ‘Grandma Bethenny’s Gin Rummy Page’ and ‘Uncle Grover’s Chronological History Of Heartburn,'” said Alexa spokesperson Bartholomew Hersen.

“It’s never a good a idea to try to control what people say or do, especially on the Internet, particularly on the Internet,” added Hersen. “You’re just asking for a digital smackdown when you go and try to be the Internet police. I think the article’s failure can be directly attributed to this.”

Hersen also noted that ever since Billboard removed its comments section, traffic to the site has dropped immensely.

“It’s interesting that right after they disabled Disqus on their pages, their traffic skydived,” Hersen remarked. “That is a very clear indication that people need to be able to engage with you directly, otherwise they’ll move on to the next Tumblr page.”

The removal of the comments section from Billboard’s web site in November immediately prompted rumors that Lady Gaga herself directly influenced it after having a notable Twitter meltdown over the disappointing performance of her new album, ARTPOP.

Many people believe that Lipshutz, a known Lady Gaga friend and rabid supporter, wrote the “flop talk” article in response to widespread and rampant ridicule of ARTPOP, which had been mockingly referred to as ARTFLOP by multitudes of music pundits, Internet bloggers and armchair critics after it failed to meet expectations despite a USD $25 million promotional and marketing budget.

“If that is indeed the case, then I’m not surprised that the article flopped horrendously,” said Hersen. “People probably saw right through the ruse and just avoided the article like the plague.”

As of press time, Jason Lipshutz is still employed by Billboard Magazine, and ARTPOP is in bargain bins at record stores everywhere.

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