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World 38% more peaceful after Lady Gaga prayer initiative

A day after failed pop singer and aspiring cult leader Lady Gaga invited everyone in the world to pray, world peace has increased by 38%.

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Meditating Lady: “My intention is to connect us all through inner peace.”

A day after failed pop singer and aspiring cult leader Lady Gaga invited everyone in the world to pray, world peace has increased by 38%.

According to World Peace Watchers (WPW), an independent group dedicated to observing and reporting the levels of world peace, there was a significant spike in calmness throughout the world at around 3:30 PM PST, when Lady Gaga said she would be broadcasting her 20-minute prayer session on Instagram.

The Zürich-based non-profit estimates over 2 billion people worldwide participated in the peace initiative, an unprecedented achievement.

“It is simply astounding how with a few effortless keystrokes, Lady Gaga can inspire multitudes of people and bring about much-needed peace in the world,” said Erik Saulter, WPW Chief of Operations. “If we had a few more people like her, world peace would be a cinch.”

Meanwhile, Baltimore-based Sanity Collective, an independent group with a mandate of “keeping it real” and “saving the gullible,” reported a 79% increase in global eye-rolling after Lady Gaga announced she would be Instagramming her prayer session.

Clay descended from the Song Dynasty in China, but he doesn't know how to use chopsticks and can't stand rice. He also can't pronounce "apropos" properly.

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